As I mentioned before I find the season of Christmas challenging.  I always have a sense of longing.  It happens every year and I have never figured out why or what the purpose was.  I always tried to shrug the feeling off, put it aside and just concentrate on being grateful but this year I decided to face it head on and figure out why I get so melancholy during each advent.  

While I was contemplating this my longing to have a family of my own became more apparent.  I always wanted to have kids but due to my circumstances it hasn’t come to fruition.  But it’s okay.  It’s not something I always think about, it pops into my head once and a while.  During the advent season this particular void is hard to escape as the holidays are all about family and the life of a newborn.  

This year my heart also breaks for all the parents who have lost children especially recently in Pakistan.  More than a hundred were horrifically killed.  It’s devastating.  There’s a lot of brokenness in this world.  We long for healing, for justice, for peace.  Yet in my longing I have hope and anticipation for life.  

If you think about it, what it must have been like for Mary and Joseph going through the desert, longing for the baby to come, wondering how they would provide and take care of a baby, especially for Mary.  But she kept putting her hope in God and being obedient and prayerful in her longing.  

I pray that we can all acknowledge our pain and longings to God.  Let Him come into our hearts and meet us and be in His presence.  For me now I have new hope and anticipation.  I look forward to Jesus coming back but in the mean time I look forward to celebrating His birthday knowing that even in the longing there is hope and life to come.