Dear Father in Heaven,
This past week has been somewhat physically challenging with the chronic muscle pain in my arm and the muscle tightness in my upper back. Although the discomfort is tolerable I’m becoming a bit weary. However the timing of all this seems rather fitting as I tried to imagine what Jesus went through.
In no way am I comparing, but it has made me more empathetic trying to imagine all the physical and emotional realities that occurred. I can’t imagine what it’s like to anticipate your execution. I can’t imagine foretelling and then being betrayed by a disciple who is a brother to you. I can’t imagine the agony of being persecuted, stoned and nailed to a cross. I can’t imagine having the foresight and the grace in being obedient to our heavenly Father, for the sake of humanity, to give a chance of eternal life and a life of unconditional love and grace.
The reality is hard to picture. We can read about your story, watch movies, interpret the story, listen to people speak and try to disseminate bits of wisdom and insight that help make your story more tangible.
The truth is that I will always grapple with remanence of your story. I think that the beauty of your story is too much for the human mind to completely digest. It requires faith and belief that it’s okay to not comprehensively know but to accept without a doubt that it’s true.
In your Holy Name
How hard it must have been for God, the Father, to turn His back on His Son in the midst of the anguish of the cross. I just watched a video of the rescue of a little boy who had gotten hung off the end of a ski lift. I didn’t know the little boy, but his cries of anguish were gut-wrenching. I saw one of my grandson’s up there and it was torture to see him suffer. As you said, “In now way am I comparing. . .” but. . .
I always love your insights, Ginny. Thank you for always commenting and for your encouragement. I reread the prayer and made some revisions. I believe it’s more clear now. I published this prayer knowing that I wasn’t completely satisfied with the writing. As like so many others I tend to get caught up in how I write the prayer and it doesn’t need to be perfect. We just need to get over ourselves and know that God can read between the lines. Maybe that’s the topic of my next blog post after lent!
One of the most precious revelations Jesus has shared with me is His delight when we choose to allow Him into our weakness and to fellowship with Him in our times of suffering. It is His greatest joy to find that we trust Him in the midst of our pain and uncertainty. Blessings to you, dear heart, as you journey with Him into the tender places of His heart.
Lovely to hear from you Donna. Thank you for your generous comment. I revised it a bit so it’s more coherent. These are the types of prayers that I would like to compile and put in a book. Prayers of honesty, transparent, that tell a story and not just asking but sharing a journey. Sometimes I post my prayers even though I’m not completely satisfied with the writing style as I know it doesn’t always need to be perfect. That is one of the hiccups that people have towards prayer.